“To fear is one thing,” says Katherine Paterson, author of Jacob I Have Loved. “To let fear grab you by the tail and swing you around is another.”
Isn’t that the truth?
The Many Faces of Fear
I coach a lot of different writers in my practice. Many writers I work with are degreed, self-aware and professionally accomplished. But in our closed-door coaching sessions, even these writers reveal to me the many faces of fear.
Together we uncover…
AVOIDANCE – “I can’t defend time to work on my own book. I keep saying yes to other peoples’ needs.”
RESISTANCE – “My essay feels stilted right now. I’m bored with this draft and it’s just not working. Aargh.”
PROSCRASTINATION – “I’ll just fine-tune this pitch one more time before I press send…”
DOUBT – “I’m honestly not sure I’m even meant to write fiction…”
When you notice fear cropping up in your own writing practice and career, you’ll probably notice a sensation of contraction and restriction in your heart, your body or your voice on the page.
Not fun, is it?
How to Flow with Fear
Constriction, smallness and starved creativity all are symptoms of fear.
I often see writers get so caught up in the manifestations of fear that they get stuck or spin themselves out. Here are 3 mistakes I see writers making when it comes to fear:
They’re shocked that fear is happening in the first place.
They think the presence of fear means there’s something wrong.
They don’t realize they can choose to respond to fear (instead of reacting).
Let’s look a bit closer.
Step 1 – Greet the Fear.
The art of flowing with fear is simple, but it takes practice. The first step is to welcome the various manifestations of fear as an anticipated guest. “Oh, Fearelda, there you are. We’ve been expecting you…”
I’m not saying you have to be solicitous or cloying with your fears. You don’t have to fake anything.
Just expect fear to happen. Plan for it. Feel fear’s presence when it arrives.
Dare to make its acquaintance and say hello.
Step 2 – Know the Fear.
Next, when you’ve noticed fear has arrived and the sensation of it is disrupting your writing, I want you to stop yourself.
(Notice I said “stop yourself” instead of “stop fear”? That’s an important point.)
- Stop judging yourself for being afraid.
- Let go of thinking you’re doing something wrong.
- Stop letting fear decide what you do or don’t do next.
You’re not unique if you get caught in writing fear. You’re human.
An episode of fear-driven resistance really doesn’t have to be any bigger deal than that. A relief, isn’t it?
Step 3 – Respond with the Language of Faith.
When fear invites you have a conversation, I invite you to respond to your fear with an entirely different language: the language of faith.
Faith for writers is a matter of affirming your purpose. It’s confidence in your plan. It’s uapologetic clarity.
Using the language of faith can sound something like this:
“I’m taking time away from children to write this afternoon because by writing, I am becoming a better mom. I have faith in my plan for today.”
“I’m not quitting on this essay. I wanted to write it because I had something important to discover and say. I have faith in my ability to bring this idea forward, even it it takes some time trying.”
“Of course I want to sit on this query forever! But I’m setting a timer for 10 minutes and then I’m pressing send. (Then, hmmm…maybe I’ll get ice cream…)”
“It’s possible I’m not supposed to write fiction, who knows? But here I am, writing fiction today. I have faith that I’ll determine my fitness for fiction once I write this damn story. Now, where was I….?”
The language of faith is creative. It can be playful.
And the language of faith is wise.
I encourage you to have some fun as you practice with these ideas. I can guarantee you’ll have lots of opportunities, if you pay close attention. Why? Because you are human. You are a writer.
And the thrill of discovering Truth and speaking it seems to come with a challenge: learning how to flow with bouts of fear.
Flow with Fear & Put It in its Place
Your very human fear may feel like an obstacle in the moment. But fear only has the power to derail you when you allow it to.
Keep persisting and writing your way to a fulfilling writing practice and career.
Along the way, be clear and be brave enough to use your fear for what it is: one of the best writing teachers out there.
With love from your coach,
