Coach Marla Beck

I Was Scared Too

by Marla

in brilliant creativity

When I became a mother, something inside me blossomed.

You see, before I became pregnant with my daughter, I wasn’t sure that “mothering” was the right thing for a woman like me. I had a list of reasons why, reasons that sounded something like this —

  • “I’m creative, and I absolutely savor my alone time.”
  • “My husband and I are older.”
  • “I’m not sure I’m capable of deeply nurturing a child. And am I capable of truly sticking to such a huge commitment?”

A beautiful remedy of biology and faith healed me of my motherhood fears. The magic started when I became pregnant, for I was filled with tremendous wonder. How could my body – a body infused with a chemotherapy drug so toxic it is no longer administered in the high cumulative doses I received twentysome years ago — how could that kind of a body “work right” and actually produce a child?

Somehow, it did.

As my belly grew, I embraced the strange magic of pregnancy. Then, after my daughter was born, I sat with her for endless hours, drunk on oxytocin, intoxicated by the scent and unspeakable aliveness of her newborn baby skin.

I surrendered to being a mom.

And in that surrender to experience…I let life change me.

Have you had a watershed experience in your life, one that invited you to be in your life in an entirely new way? Perhaps you had a child or launched a business. Perhaps your shift came through loss, like the end of a relationship, the end of your health-as-you-knew-it, or the death of a parent or someone you dearly loved.

When life shifts profoundly, it’s difficult not to let life change you, isn’t it?

Today I invite you acknowledge all you’ve walked through. I invite you to ask yourself, too, if you’re:

  • Feeling happy?
  • Pursuing work you find meaningful?
  • Passionately producing a book, a speech, a play or a new project?
  • Glowing with that confidence that comes from walking through something big, and then sharing what you’ve learned to help others?
  • When life shifts, it’s often not just the “big thing” we’re walking through that deepens our aliveness. It’s our response to the shift — our courage to own our authority, to articulate our dreams, to write, create and communicate – from the heart.

It’s time to do something meaningful and courageous with your experience.

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