Coach Marla Beck

Honor Yourself: A Simple Fix for Stuck Writers

by Marla

in brilliant productivity, brilliant writing career, brilliant writing life

 
writing_your_wayHow I Like to Write 

It’s 6:30am.  And after working out at the gym this morning, I’m cozy and ready to write here in my office — snuggled in my favorite cashmere hoodie, with my portable radiator nearby and a lit candle and a steaming cup of green tea on the desk.

It’s early, yes.

But I’m happy!  Because many days I use the early morning hours to do things I love, like warming up my singing voice, meditating, writing and working out.  I know this early morning habit is not for everyone.  (And I think it’s important to tell you that, as a coach, Inever insist my clients work like just me.)   But this rhythm of self-care and creativity has worked well for me for years.

Until…recently.

How I Don’t Like to Write

Last week my husband went away for three days.  And because I needed to stick around the house in the mornings, a few things changed.  All the sudden there was…

  • No opportunity to chit-chat with the ladies after our early workouts at the gym…
  • No chance to join friends for early-morning meditation…
  • No way to sneak-in-a-little-writing at the office…

So I did what any reasonable woman writer would do.  I slept in the first two days.  (Guilt-free.) But on the third day, I woke up early.

There I was, just me, my yoga mat and the kitchen table.

I wish I could report that I enjoyed myself.  That my meditation was clear, my writing focused.

Not a chance.

Instead, I was sleepy and distracted and annoyed and all too aware that the dishwasher needed to be emptied, the bills needed to be paid and wasn’t I crazy to be up at this hour?

My warm bed was just a few yards away.  I considered being “normal” and jumping back in.

Because my creative work suddenly seemed like a very low priority in the midst of household needs and to-dos.  And without companions who shared my motivation and interests, I doubted myself and certainly my choice to be up early.  (See, even writing coaches struggle.)

When I tried to work in isolation, I lost my spark and edge.  

And I learned an important lesson.  Some people need like-minded others around in order to do their best work.

I’m one of those people.

We Writers Need Others.

When we work alongside writing peers, we give ourselves good company for the solitary task of writing.  Our peers bolster our enthusiasm and spark our commitment to write.  Fellow writers provide easy immunity to the “Who do you think you are?” and “Why can’t you be normal?” thoughts that plague even the most seasoned writers sometimes.

But nearly every week, a writer-client will tell me of her stuck-writing woes.  And when we unpack things, here’s what’s often happening…

  • She’s writing in isolation, without the support of other people who understand.
  • Or she’s writing in the middle of the house, with household responsibilities and distractions all around.
  • Or she’s trying to emulate some other writer’s idea of a “disciplined writing schedule,”  even though it’s not fun, sustainable or even remotely aligned with her ways of living and writing.

Surround Yourself for Success.

If you can’t seem to focus on your writing, I suspect you need to get yourself around others who are just as talented, curious and motivated to write as you are.  You need to add a little more structure and form to your writing practice.  You may even need to wake up a bit and start taking some responsibility to create the writing environment that serves you best.

A few tips?

  • There’s no shame in needing other people around to help you do your best work.
  • There’s no shame in needing to leave your lovely house to write at a cafe or library, either.
  • And the very best kind of “disciplined productivity” starts with understanding and honoring your own best ways of working.  (Even if you like to work early in the morning or late at night.  On the commuter train or in the stacks at the university library.)

Please start making things easier for yourself. 

Be you. Accept what works best for you as a writer.

So if you need people around you, connect with some new writing peers.

If you like to get up early, go ahead and do it.

You’re going to write your best when you work in a way that honors yourself.

You’ll have more fun, too.

# # #

Ready to challenge yourself and meet other writers?

Join me October 25-26, 2013 for Two Days to Write — a sane and fun productivity intensive you can do from the comfort of your home or office.

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